Transformational Trauma and Healing: Core Trauma Transformation

Join me as I speak with Dr. Tara Perry, as we discuss her Core Trauma Transformation process and her Next Level Healing podcast. Tara often sees results with her patients in 90 days or less and she's just a fascinating individual. 

www.skinnytees.com
Code TTH30 for 30 % off

Trauma is a Catalyst is available now. Buy a copy today!

skinnytees.com use code TTH30 for 30% off
Trauma is a Catalyst is here. Buy your copy today!

Transcript

15:55 - Carrie Rickert All right. Hi, Dr. Thank you so much for being here today.

16:04 - Dr Tara Perry Thank you, Carrie. I'm delighted to be with you.

16:07 - Carrie Rickert I am super excited to have you. I was reading your bio and looking at your website and everything. And so I want to talk about the definition of poor trauma transformation. What exactly is that? Explain to our listeners.

16:29 - Dr Tara Perry So, um, for 23 years, I did acupuncture, nutritional medicine, and then I found that by going into the subconscious mind and working there, uh, the results were so much deeper, better, faster, uh, for pretty much everything. Uh, and the reason for that is because only five to 10% of our brain is our conscious mind. And the other 90 to 95% is our subconscious mind. So to get to the core of an issue, to get to the root of an issue, it seems to me imperative to go to the subconscious mind.

17:00 - Dr Tara Perry Because if we're trying to solve a problem by pushing things around in our conscious mind, which I think I have so many clients that, you know, have been through decades of therapy, they're having daily panic attacks, they're, they're stressed out, they're not feeling, you know, horrible anxiety, they've got Often physical disorders as a result of that stress and trauma. And they're just not solving it by sitting around talking about the problems week after week after week.

17:24 - Dr Tara Perry So by bypassing the conscious mind, which is not difficult to do, it's a natural state to go into those low alpha states. You know it's kind of like a dream state you're watching television you're meditating you're studying you're going in and out of sleep it's a state that we go in and out of all the time but in that relaxed low alpha state you have much better access to your subconscious mind so in having a conversation in that state and I can't make anybody think anything they don't want to think or believe anything they don't want to believe that's all hollywood This is just a way to get relaxed together and have that conversation where all of a sudden stuff starts to become evident.

18:01 - Dr Tara Perry So people that had trauma as a toddler, one gal in particular who's on my YouTube channel, she had medical issues and just was in horrible pain and had a lot of learned helplessness that she developed as a result of that. And she had been through four years of intense, really first-class internal work at the University of Santa Monica, which is a fantastic place. It's so wonderful that I almost considered there going myself. But she just didn't fully get to the deep, deep, deep, deep, deep root.

18:31 - Dr Tara Perry And she was able to do that by going into her subconscious mind and finding out what was locked inside of there. Things that are locked really early in childhood are really almost impossible to resolve with the conscious mind, because it's just stuck in that childhood memory. I get people that go back to the womb that weren't wanted as children. And how do you resolve that with your conscious mind? It's impossible. A lot of people struggle against feeling angst and having food addictions, and they don't understand why they're driven to do the things that they're driven to.

19:04 - Dr Tara Perry They don't, you know, it's like, why do I think one thing, but then my body insists on doing something else? So again, by going deep, deep, deep into the subconscious mind and finding out what's going on there, how did it get wired in there, what does it want? I always find that most people like iPhone 14s operating on iPhone 4 technology. And it's not your fault, you're not lazy, you're not stupid, it's just you can't resolve it with that 5-10% of your brain. So by going in and finding that, and then I do need somebody to have a clear commitment.

19:38 - Dr Tara Perry And a clear need and desire to change because the brain, funny enough, and anybody who studies trauma knows this, likes what's familiar. Even if what's familiar is hell, it prefers an unfamiliar hell to an unfamiliar, it prefers a familiar hell to an unfamiliar heaven. So the trick really is to get the brain subconscious mind to see, oh, that hell that I've been hanging on to that story, that pattern, that that reflex that's been firing and wiring for all this time, sometimes decades, sometimes somebody's whole entire life.

20:10 - Dr Tara Perry That's like a hot poker and oh, gee, it's really better if I let that go. But then it needs that clear pathway from where it is to where it wants to go. So when I work with somebody, I create that audio tape that they listen to each and every night. Once that pathway becomes clear, it's like the yellow brick road. I often say I feel like Glenda the Good Witch because I'm not giving anything to anybody that they don't already have. They just can't see it. They can't access it. It's right there in front of them.

20:36 - Dr Tara Perry But they need that yellow brick road to listen to each and every night of the words, the instructions, so that the subconscious mind can let go of that old patterning and start firing and wiring that new, heaven that is wanted to be familiar. So once that heaven becomes familiar and the hell becomes unfamiliar, then that will become your new operating pattern. That's a long-winded answer. I hope I answered your question.

21:02 - Carrie Rickert You did. So it only brings more questions up.

21:06 - Dr Tara Perry Yes,

21:07 - Dr Tara Perry Of course.

21:08 - Carrie Rickert So It sounds to me like, so what you're talking about with this transformation is using hypnotherapy?

21:19 - Dr Tara Perry Yes. And I don't tend to say that right off the bat for most people, because most people have no idea what that is. It's a very natural thing that occurs with the brain. And a lot of hypnotherapists, you know, there's a lot of different training out there. And I knew two of the top hypnotherapists in Los Angeles. And I have to say, it was a very different experience than what I do. It was almost as if they were relaxing people, but they were still dealing with the conscious mind. They were brilliant people.

21:49 - Dr Tara Perry They had great advice. I learned from them. They were wonderful, wonderful people. But this just bypasses the conscious mind so much more elegantly.

22:00 - Carrie Rickert Okay. So explain hypnotherapy and how you do it.

22:07 - Dr Tara Perry Okay. So I work with feelings. The story doesn't help. It doesn't matter what happens to us. It's the story, the habits, the patterns, the imprints that we created, the ideas about ourself, the world, and other people that harm us. And the beautiful thing about that,

22:30 - Dr Tara Perry Even though it's stuck in the subconscious, the beautiful thing is we put it there so it actually can be rewritten. It's almost like a computer. You have to delete it and you have to write over it. So anytime you find yourself figuring things out with the logical mind, that's a conscious brain activity. If you can connect to the feelings, I often will say to somebody like, if I'm giving you a magic wand, what are three feelings you'd give anything to not feel anymore? Where are they in your body?

22:59 - Dr Tara Perry What triggers them? What color are they? What do you notice about it? Is it electrical? Is it heavy? Is it tight? How long has it been with you? So just to get that little tag on it so that it can be accessed. And then you know we wave the magic wand what are three feelings you'd give anything to feel consistently on a daily basis So typically things that I get are, you know, I wanna feel calm, I wanna feel peace, I wanna feel whole, I wanna feel accomplished, I wanna feel enough, you know, those are the common things. And it's different for different people and it doesn't matter what, you know, what's so beautiful about this is it doesn't matter what comes up during the sessions, it'll be the right thing. There are no wrong answers, you know, people, I kind of laugh when somebody says they can't be hypnotized because the truth is you already are hypnotized.

24:14 - Dr Tara Perry The good news is you can be re-hypnotized to something that actually serves you. You can upgrade that iPhone 4 that's been stuck in hopelessness, despair, not enough, anxiety, panic, fear, and it can be upgraded to what really is existing in the present moment, which is You know you're an accomplished person. I mean I don't care who you are if you're getting out of bed and taking care of kids and going to work and whatever you're doing, you know, you've accomplished some level of, you know, goodness of wholeness of self care in your life and so we need to amplify that.

24:47 - Dr Tara Perry And bleed out the destructive talk that lies to you and tells you that you're less than who you are. I often describe it as like Dorothy and the Wizard of Oz.

24:57 - Dr Tara Perry When Toto pulled that curtain back and all of a sudden, all the characters looked and saw that the smoke and the billowing voice and the fear and all that intimidation was just a little old guy in the closet pulling a bunch of levers. Once the subconscious mind can see that, it has no power over you anymore.

25:18 - Carrie Rickert Right, okay. So I am a huge believer in acupuncture. I know you used to be an acupuncturist and it's made a huge difference in my life. In fact, I've done a lot of PTSD work with acupuncture and we have discussed with my acupuncturist, adding in hypnotherapy. Do you often combine the two modes?

25:57 - Dr Tara Perry I don't. I mean, I have decades of acupuncture. I had a practice in Santa Monica, Beverly Hills and Belmont Shore and taught at UCLA and Emperor's College. And I deeply love acupuncture. I know the power of it. I've, you know, reversed paralysis. I've helped people with PTSD and stress, the military loves it. There's a battlefield acupuncture. Thank God the VA has now adapted it so that it's helping with people with stress and anxiety there. It helps people sleep at night. The data is very, very, very, very strong.

26:29 - Dr Tara Perry So it's still near and dear to my heart. For example, somebody recently stumbled across me. Um, we had dinner, uh, his wife and I, uh, and, um, his wife, him and me, uh, had dinner and he was all excited because he had had an injury 40 years ago to his back and, and acupuncture was something that really helped him. I said, yeah, I can do that, but, um, it, you know, would be better, faster, deeper if we just went to your subconscious mind. Took over there. And we did two sessions and now 80% of his back pain is gone.

27:01 - Dr Tara Perry So I've found it to be very reliably rewarding to go to where the problem originally is. Because the truth is, if you fracture your femur, which is the thickest bone in your body, if there's no obstruction to that healing, it should be better than normal in eight weeks. So if you're struggling with something for that many years, there.

27:27 - Dr Tara Perry It is likely there's some emotional something getting stuck. There's so many books like The Body Keeps the Score. Louise Hay was famous for writing about how pathology got stuck in the body with various thoughts, forms that were attacking you know, the person, you know, it was either anger or resentment or feeling not enough. There was some thought issue that was causing the pathology to be located in that portion of the body. Joe Dispenza is talking about this one in terms of how, you know, if you live in heart and brain coherence, your body is going to heal magnificently.

28:09 - Dr Tara Perry So it's some pathology in the coherence of the body, which is like patterns and waves that look beautiful when they're in balance, but they look like static if they're out of balance. So if your life, if your coherent field is thrown out of coherence, um heart math has studied this extensively you can actually get a device from heart math that actually measures your heart and brain coherence if you're going through life in profound heart and brain coherence now now if you're going to develop that on your own that takes a long time it's worth every amount of energy you put into it but this is like meditation You'll get great, great, great results, but it can take a long time.

28:52 - Dr Tara Perry I've worked with a lot of advanced meditators, and I have everybody that works with me who's willing doing meditation simultaneously, and I can guide them and show them how to do that effectively. But a lot of advanced meditators still have something that they've been struggling with that they have not resolved. So I have found that by going into the subconscious mind and just directly dealing with whatever that issue is and rewiring it, then the meditation gets to be even more fulfilling because that blockage isn't there.

29:25 - Dr Tara Perry It's like you have a river that's flowing, but there's a dam in part of the river that's causing disruption and poor flow through that area. And that's the same concept in acupuncture. The whole concept is to get the chi and blood flowing because it's the obstruction of proper chi and blood flow that is causing pain and dis-ease.

29:47 - Dr Tara Perry So the same is true with your electric body, which is what you can't see. That coherence, that coherent field is everywhere in all organ systems in your body. And if something is thrown off of Kelter because of fear, because of lack, because of anxiety, because of anger, resentment, any of those issues, then physical pathology can eventually result. Does that make sense?

30:13 - Carrie Rickert Right, it does. So I think about where I carry my stress is always in my neck and shoulder on the right side. And I know, like that is my cue to myself that something is going on with me emotionally. It's not... Oh, I've pulled muscle or whatever. Like it is absolutely an emotional problem. It is not a physical problem, but it is a problem that has turned physical and can be and has been chronic. So I would imagine that just the idea that this could hope transform some of that chronic pain that people feel is so hopeful.

31:21 - Dr Tara Perry Very much so. And it's totally exciting to me that this technology is out there and emerging. It is kind of crazy that it has been out there for literally centuries in various traditions. And it seems to take a long time for it to bubble up into mainstream.

31:40 - Carrie Rickert Well, yes, in Western medicine tends to be a little, um,

31:45 - Dr Tara Perry Well,

31:46 - Dr Tara Perry Just by Yeah, it's just biased to what pays the bills. You know, there's a wonderful saying, actually, I just interviewed Mark Gober, who wrote his newest book is an end to upside down medicine. But one of the quotes that we discussed is it's really hard to get somebody to see something if their livelihood depends on them not saying it.

32:05 - Carrie Rickert Yes.

32:06 - Dr Tara Perry And unfortunately, I've seen that in play. And it's not like, you know, it's not like they're all bad people. But again, if you've been taught in a model where the whole world is a hammer, then if all the tools you're given is a hammer, then the whole world starts to look like a nail.

32:29 - Carrie Rickert Walk me through your process. Well, say me, if I came to you as a patient, what would that look like,

32:40 - Dr Tara Perry So the first question, I love Tony Robbins, you know, like him or not, there's a reason he gets a million dollars for eight hours of his time. And he always likes to start with the outcome first. So, you know, what is it you want? Actually, I have right here, I know we're on video and this is an audio recording, but this is my magic wand. I love my magic wand, it's a real magic wand.

32:58 - Carrie Rickert It's fantastic.

32:58 - Dr Tara Perry It's actually got a great story behind it. But I would say, hey, what are three feelings you would give anything to not feel anymore? Um, and you know, where do they live in your body? What do they look like, What do they feel like, What triggers them? You know, what color are they? Um, what do you notice about them? Are they electrical? Are they heavy? Are they empty? Are they, you know, and, and, and usually I get very standard answers. Sometimes I get something that's really weird and that's cool too.

33:23 - Dr Tara Perry There are no wrong answers, which is so beautiful about it. And then, um, you know, if we wave the magic wand again and those three feelings go away and they're replaced by three feelings, you give anything to feel consistently on a daily basis, what would those be? And again, typically I get calm, peace, whole, loved, expansive, whatever, words like that.

33:44 - Dr Tara Perry And again, there's a lot of commonality. Sometimes people are outliers and all of it's beautiful because everybody's different. We're all different. We're all the same. It's that wonderful paradox of life. So then I do like to know, what does this cost you to be in this state? How long has it been going on? What triggers it? How is it affecting you mentally, emotionally, physically, spiritually? And get really clear about that. And then if it went away, what would your life look like, feel like, sound like, smell like if you didn't have that?

34:14 - Dr Tara Perry Just to get a level of importance because, again, the brain doesn't really want to change. It's going to default to that old familiar hell. Unless it's got a really good reason. So we want to leverage that reason. We want to get really, really clear. And honestly, I don't work with people that don't have an eight, nine or 10 need to change an equipment commitment to change because as soon as you have a stressed out moment, it's going to want to default to the old thing unless it has a good reason to change.

34:39 - Dr Tara Perry And it will change and it will be very happy to change if it's got a good reason and it can see that there's a light at the end of the tunnel.

34:46 - Carrie Rickert Right.

34:46 - Dr Tara Perry It's kind of like,

34:47 - Dr Tara Perry Learning a language or learning a sport. If you're going to go through the discomfort of changing, putting your time, attention, and capital on changing something, there has to be something at the end of the tunnel that you want. So I want to get really clear about that. I give people a high-performance planner to track their progress each and every day. It is like the stock market. In a good market, you'll still have good days and bad days, but you want to be able to look back last week, last month, last quarter and go, oh, wow, things are so much better.

35:19 - Dr Tara Perry I would not go back to where I was. I have had consistently, consistently amazing results, I would say 95% of the time. So whatever somebody's issue is,

35:30 - Dr Tara Perry Whether it's a pain issue, I've had people with allergies. I've had people who were attacked by a Rottweiler and had to go through multiple jaw surgeries and were having choking disorders. I've had people with seizures. People who had PTSD from seeing their husband catch on fire and you know they'd become allergic to everything but five foods and developed mold and babesia and mass cell inflammation and if there's a strong emotional component in there I can you know By dialing that back, as you know, if you're in the sympathetic nervous system mode, nothing is working.

36:07 - Dr Tara Perry You're in fight or flight, then your immune system is turned off,

36:10 - Dr Tara Perry Your digestive system is turned off, your hormonal system is turned off, and frankly, you just don't have anything left to heal with. You So the goal of this is to dial that back using the subconscious mind, which this is beautiful about. I mean, people all the time are telling me that they experience more peace than they've ever experienced, that they didn't know what bliss was before they did this. Again, it's different for different people, but nobody is happy in a stressed-out state twenty four seven three sixty five and the body keeps the score.

36:39 - Dr Tara Perry If the alarm bells are going off, I often say to people, you know, if that if the alarm the fire alarm in your house was going off all the time, how helpful would that be?

36:49 - Carrie Rickert You would start to ignore it.

36:50 - Dr Tara Perry Well, you'd be going, you know, and it would make you crazy. You just have this like low level stress tension. Your jaws would get tight. Your neck would get tight. You know, you'd feel awful. Um, and you'd ignore it. It would have absolutely no use. So you want to dial that alarm back so that it's basically off.

37:06 - Dr Tara Perry Um, except if there was a real emergency, then you want to have access to it.

37:10 - Carrie Rickert Right. Okay. So, Do all of your patients come to you in person?

37:19 - Dr Tara Perry Um, no, I COVID was delightful for me, because it basically strongly motivated me to close my brick and mortar practice, which I had been doing for 23 years. And, and go virtual.

37:35 - Dr Tara Perry That was an interesting transition and definitely requires a lot of shifting and changing. But for me, it was really helpful. And I love being able to serve people literally all over the planet. So I've had people in Australia Australia, Slovakia, Pakistan, London, Spain, all over the world. And if somebody is within a two-hour driving radius from me, then I would say come see me in person because it's always nice to see people in person. It's just.

38:04 - Dr Tara Perry Nicer. But without the ability to do this online, then it would certainly limit the amount of people I would be able to work with.

38:13 - Carrie Rickert Okay, okay, So um. Tell me a little bit about your podcast, Next Level Healing. So.

38:24 - Dr Tara Perry Last year, I just, I really needed to get the word out about how quick and effective this was. So I started recording people that I had worked with. And so that's all on my YouTube channel.

38:35 - Dr Tara Perry Yep, that's all on my YouTube channel. It's all on my Instagram. So it's at Dr. Tara Perry or Dr. Tara Grace Perry on YouTube, I believe it is. And then I just, I have a background in broadcasting, and it's just honestly so beautiful, fun, and exciting for me to reach out to other professionals that are doing super cool things on the planet. So I used to broadcast out of Angel Stadium for four years right before the Angel Games. It started out as The Best from East to West, which was all about Eastern and Western medicine and the cool things that people were doing in that space.

39:07 - Dr Tara Perry And then I found myself right before the angel game so in order to appeal to that audience I changed it to the men's dugout, which was men's adventure lifestyle and fitness, but again I was in, I was always interested in interviewing people that are were at the cutting edge of some type of human achievement. So now I have this podcast, Next Level Healing. And again, it's people that are in the space of making life bigger, brighter, more empowering for people. So I just interviewed Stephen Cope, who is the director at the Kripalu Yoga Center in America is the most heavily visited yoga center in America.

39:47 - Dr Tara Perry And basically, you know, what people are struggling with, because so many people are struggling with not being connected to their authentic self. And we know that connecting to the authentic self deeply empowers your cells to heal. You've got 2 million cells coming online every second. What are those cells hearing from you each and every day? Are they hearing that, Oh my God, life is wonderful. I live in a creative world. I live in an expansive world. I live in a loving world. Or are they going, Oh Lord, I have to go to work today.

40:20 - Dr Tara Perry I have to deal with this boss.

40:22 - Carrie Rickert Again.

40:22 - Dr Tara Perry Yeah, I got to do this again. How am I going to get through? How am I going to manage? How am I going to get through this week, this month? If that's what they're hearing, then they just want to shut down and run away. And you don't want that from those 2 million cells coming online. You want them vibrant. You want them you know, you want them in coherence. Because in that beautiful, beautiful, coherent state, healing, as Joe Dispenza is showing better than anybody else on the planet, is so accessible.

40:48 - Dr Tara Perry I mean, if you type in Dispenza and pretty much anything on YouTube, blindness, cancer, ALS, IBS, Crohn's, stress, anxiety, you're going to find people have healed from it. Again, it's that process of going into deep, quiet meditation, elevating heart and brain coherence, combining it with breath work because breath work really helps cleanse out those energy centers and help bring you into heart and brain coherence. I realize this is a lot of information and He has a advanced progressive bundle on his website, which is a great way to get started to understand all this stuff.

41:30 - Dr Tara Perry People that are working with me, I guide them through you know what, the, what key things there are. If you do have a mentor that you're working with one on one that you know is knowledgeable about all this stuff and can guide you, that's the best. I mean, every hero's journey has a guide. And there's a,

41:45 - Carrie Rickert Bang.

41:46 - Dr Tara Perry There's a reason for that. Because if somebody's standing up on a mountaintop and they're looking at the pathway to get to the mountaintop, they've got a different set of eyeballs on the situation than you do. It's like somebody driving a car. If you have a blindfold and you don't see the dashboard, you're probably not going to get to the supermarket. But if you've got eyes and ears and you can see out the windshield, you can see your dashboard, then you're going to effectively get to your destination.

42:16 - Dr Tara Perry And there are great, great, great tools out there. I'm sure you've discussed with your listeners, many of them, meditation is certainly one of them.

42:24 - Dr Tara Perry Breath work is another powerful one. There's a fellow, who came across, well, he popularized holotropic breathwork. He was a psychiatrist that has done, I think, 35,000 of these sessions with people. And because he's also a full-blown psychiatrist, he was able to document what type of emotional issues people were able to help resolve through breathwork. Cold therapy, Wim Hof is famous for popularizing that. He was deeply sad and depressed when his wife committed suicide and he couldn't help her in any way, shape or form.

43:03 - Dr Tara Perry So he was miserable and turned to cold therapy to help him. So different people have done different things. I love to suggest to people that if you want a good outcome, look at whoever's getting great outcomes.

43:19 - Carrie Rickert Which makes sense, absolutely.

43:22 - Dr Tara Perry So I'm not really interested in what somebody's theory for change is, I'm interested in the outcomes. The way we got into UCLA with acupuncture at the Arthur Ashe Center, I was the first acupuncture teacher at the Arthur Ashe Center, we didn't show them a bunch of studies. Because honestly, a study is only good as how well it's conducted. And there's so many out there that are so poorly conducted. If a study is biased, if it's funded by big dollars that want to show you a specific outcome, they can prove anything.

43:50 - Dr Tara Perry It's really sad, but that is the truth. It is unfortunately very sad. But if you look at the outcomes, so we went in and we treated the people at UCLA who made the decisions. When they could experience their arm getting better, their headaches going away, these various things, then all of a sudden it wasn't a study anymore, it happened to them and they knew firsthand that this was effective. So it was a, it was a huge success. It's still going on today as far as I know. Which is quite a long time later, over a decade later.

44:23 - Dr Tara Perry And it was the first time any UC school had made acupuncture available to the student body for medical care.

44:29 - Carrie Rickert Wow. That's awesome.

44:31 - Dr Tara Perry So we're living in a really interesting time. There's big dollars that want you to believe certain things, and big dollars buy a lot of television advertising. They get a lot of messaging out there. They get a lot of studies out there. And unfortunately, again, a flawed study is a flawed study.

44:47 - Carrie Rickert Great, great,

44:48 - Dr Tara Perry And there's many ways to screw up a study.

44:51 - Dr Tara Perry A study to be scientifically accurate needs to have internal and external validity. It needs to be not biased. There's a lot of conditions that need to be looked at and met in order to have a valid study.

45:05 - Carrie Rickert Great, so. Our listeners, if one of our listeners wants to work with you, what would they do?

45:17 - Dr Tara Perry So on my website, you can go to consultterra.com or nashvillehealer.com will also get you to the same place. There's a let's talk button there. And then there's just like a few questions to fill out again, to get clarity about what the issue is, what do you want to resolve? You know, what's the level of commitment to getting there? And then just set up a zoom call with me. I love to, you know, I don't want anybody signing up that hasn't had a conversation with me because I want to know, you know, what's your outcome.

45:44 - Dr Tara Perry You know, what if, if we wave this magic wand, what is the thing you want changing in your life? Because you can't, as Tony Robbins says, you can't manage what you don't measure. So I want really measurable results. If you're upset and in angst, and if it's a 10 out of a 10, then we want it dropping dramatically by the end of the 90 days that we're working together.

46:07 - Carrie Rickert And that's what your expected timeframe is, 90 days?

46:13 - Dr Tara Perry I rarely don't see anybody have a dramatic drop-off in whatever their issue is. If there's an emotion that's pushing under there, then it needs to be dealt with. It needs to be talked to. It might need your love. It might need your permission to leave. You know I I once work, I hear all kinds of horrible stories because, unfortunately, there's a lot of sexual abuse, a lot of physical abuse, a lot of neglect,

46:40 - Dr Tara Perry A lot of alcoholism. There's just a lot of stuff that people grow up with. I can be pretty objective. I can keep a distance. People don't want you to roll around in the mud with you and they want, you know, to, they want a hand so they can get out of the mud.

46:58 - Dr Tara Perry I did get choked up when I had this 80-year-old once that he had never loved himself. It was so sad to me. So I finally got him to be able to connect to that beautiful little boy with inside of himself, inside of himself and to love this child. And it was so funny because the thing that he had been resisting and fighting and not wanting to feel anymore. Once it was finally ready to go, part of him was like, wait a minute, that's my old friend. How will I be able to function without my old friend?

47:27 - Dr Tara Perry Meaning the angst and the pain. And it's like, you have to really give permission, because again, I know it sounds so strange, the brain likes what's familiar, even if what's familiar is awful. So truly, you have to have that ceremony, that experience of acknowledging that, oh, it's OK for it to leave. It's time for it to leave. It's safe for it to leave. It has no purpose anymore. And again, it's different for different people. Sometimes that pain has really got a strong, strong message for something to change in your life.

47:59 - Dr Tara Perry And by getting that message, I always say that it's like God knocking on your front door. If you ignore it, probably the next thing is going to be the door's going to get blown down. And then if you ignore that, maybe the whole front of the house will get blown down. So it's really good to get the message so that you can make the course correction, whether it's being around toxic people, being in a toxic job, thinking toxic thoughts, eating toxic food. Whatever the thing is that this emotion in you is so desperately wanting you to see, that's really the whole key.

48:34 - Dr Tara Perry It's, it's not, it's not. It's not a bad thing trying to hurt you. It really is trying to inform you. It's trying to elevate you. It's trying to bring you to the next level of your life. That's why so many people, you hear story after story after story, where somebody was hit with a tragedy, but they worked through it, they got past it, and then they go, oh, that's the best thing that ever happened to me. Because it may, yep, yep, I see you reacting there. Why don't you tell your listeners,

49:00 - Dr Tara Perry I'm sure your listeners already know, but why was the tragedy that happened to you the best thing that ever happened to you?

49:07 - Carrie Rickert And it's funny, because I was just talking to a friend of mine about this yesterday, I was in a really bad place, like emotionally, my marriage was ending work, like the one thing that I knew I was good at work, I was failing at like, there were just all of these things. And I was like, Oh, my God, I need to like, don't know what's happening here, right? And then right before my car accident, I separated from my husband. And so that was like, one relief, right? I mean, you still feel like, Oh, I failed at something.

49:55 - Carrie Rickert But, um, you know, so that was that part was still hanging on. It was I was grateful to have been, to remove myself from marriage, but you know, it was, I was still stuck and I was feeling stuck and overwhelmed and like, I couldn't manage anything. And then I was in an accident and was in the hospital for six weeks. And the only thing that I could manage was me. I couldn't take care of my children. I couldn't take care of work. I couldn't take care of dealing with how things were being separated.

50:44 - Carrie Rickert Like I just had to focus on me. And that changed my perspective so much. And how I moved forward from all of that was, okay, you know, That's not really all that important. I'm going to let that go. I had never let go of anything.

51:15 - Dr Tara Perry Beautiful, and what was the thing that you let go of Because letting go is a huge-. Yeah, beautiful.

51:20 - Carrie Rickert Control.

51:22 - Dr Tara Perry Oh, so beautiful.

51:23 - Carrie Rickert Control, absolutely. And sometimes I see it creep back in, like, oh, I'm trying to control this situation. I am trying to control every piece of this, and this isn't even mine to control.

51:40 - Dr Tara Perry Beautiful. You know who writes about this beautifully is Byron Katie. I have almost everybody that I work with read Loving What Is,

51:48 - Dr Tara Perry And she's just the most incredible woman. She experienced sudden enlightenment. She's a very, very rare individual who experienced enlightenment and it never left her. And one of her favorite things is there is your business, other people's business, and God's business. And whose business really do you have the energy and license to deal with?

52:13 - Carrie Rickert Only yours.

52:14 - Dr Tara Perry Yeah.

52:14 - Carrie Rickert Only. Yours.

52:15 - Dr Tara Perry And That's a, that's a beautiful thing to see because so many people are trying to control other people and they're making themselves miserable. Yeah. They're trying to control the universe. And it's like,

52:23 - Dr Tara Perry You know what? You don't control the weather. You don't control the weather. The sun comes up. You don't even control how many times a day your heart beats. So stop trying to control it.

52:33 - Carrie Rickert And that was a very hard lesson for me. And one I fought against learning for a very long time.

52:40 - Dr Tara Perry And how good does it feel that you finally got it?

52:43 - Carrie Rickert Oh my gosh. It's amazing. I am a much happier person now than I was before my accident.

52:53 - Dr Tara Perry And how much health more do you have in your body as a result of letting that go?

52:58 - Carrie Rickert Oh, a lot more. I mean, like it's, it's interesting because I was like in high school and college and right after college, I was very sickly. Um, and now I'm never sick.

53:17 - Dr Tara Perry Isn't that empowering to realize?

53:20 - Dr Tara Perry No, seriously, how much power we have in our minds to change things, right? There's really impressive science behind this. And there's really good books written about this. It's a beautiful thing to realize, wow, I can take my power back.

53:36 - Carrie Rickert Wow, I had power to begin with, right? Like, oh, I didn't realize that. I thought I was just following the script.

53:44 - Dr Tara Perry That's why I feel like Glenda the Good Witch,

53:46 - Dr Tara Perry Because I'm not giving anything to people that they don't already have. It's just taking the blinders off so they can see it.

53:53 - Carrie Rickert That's so cool. I love that. All right, so tell us again, before we close. How people can get to you.

54:01 - Dr Tara Perry Yeah, you can go to consult Tara.com. In fact, for your listeners, I have this, this meditation that has not been released. It's called unzip. And then basically, you just unzip from this ego personality that you have and step into into being without that. And what does that feel like, It's a very simple little meditation, but they can just message me from my message box and say, Carrie sent me, I'd love to get your unzip guided meditation and I'll send that to them. They can- Carrie.

54:33 - Dr Tara Perry Yeah,

54:32 - Carrie Rickert Too.

54:33 - Dr Tara Perry Carry to okay. Okay, great. Well, I'd love to get to that to you too. And then just, they can click the button to let's talk, answer some questions to get some clarity on what it is that they'd like to shift and set up a time to talk to me on Zoom.

54:46 - Carrie Rickert That's awesome. Okay, great. Thank you so much for your time today. This has been absolutely fascinating. I have really enjoyed speaking with you.

54:54 - Dr Tara Perry Me too, Carrie. Thank you so much for sharing your journey.